A lovely reader of mine, who wants to write a book, reached out to me recently. She is afraid that she will receive negative comments about what she writes and that her works will not be liked by everyone.
We all face fear to a greater or lesser degree every day. We may be nervous about travelling in the Métro, driving in heavy traffic or taking the lift. Fear takes a grip on us in many ways but, generally, we are able to overcome it and live our lives free from the paralysis of fear.
But, this lovely lady had become paralysed by her fears.
It got me to thinking:
Do you have fears about your style?
Do you have fears about dressing well and upgrading your wardrobe?
Are you like my reader who is afraid of rejection?
Are you afraid that what you try may not be well received?
Are you paralysed by a fear of what may happen?
Maybe you are afraid that people will talk behind your back or maybe laugh at you, or that they may ask you: what are you doing?
Many women are worried about such things.
We all have fears, especially fears about change, fears about transformation. It is a fear of the unknown; an unknown that we fill with our deepest and darkest fears and insecurities.
The reader who reached out to me would like to write a book but she fears that people will not like what she writes. The truth is that you cannot be liked by everybody, you cannot please everybody. She is filling her unknown with her fears. These fears have stopped her from writing anything so far.
I wrote five books, which I published on Amazon. I have received many positive comments from women who enjoyed my books, who benefited from my advice and style tips.
Of course, along with these positive comments, I have also received some negative ones too. One reader doubted whether I was French. Really. I should have sent her a copy of my French passport!
Another called me an air-head for writing that I hoped that, by improving their style, it would help women to empower and transform themselves. You see, you cannot appeal to everybody!
The truth is, I didn't think of getting bad reviews when I wrote my first book. I didn't turn my mind to reviews at all. I just wanted to write a book I wanted to read. If I had paid heed to those negative comments, they may have stopped me from writing and helping tens of thousands of women with their style and confidence. This is the number of women I have helped since 2011.
I honestly simply thought that, if the book appealed to me, it would appeal to other women too. So I wrote and published my first book How To Be Chic And Elegant. It went on to top the bestseller list in its three categories for well over three years, outselling books by celebrity stylists.
I went on to write another four books and I now create online courses. I have even founded my French Chic Academy for women who want to experience a big transformation, not only on their style but their self-confidence too.
If I had filled my mind with fears, I may not have written my books.
But, I filled my mind with hope not fear.
With acceptance and not rejection.
Why is it that we fill the unknown or our minds with fear?
Why can't we just as easily fill it with hope?
In my view, it comes down to our level of desire.
I really, truly wanted to write that book.
Once I started writing it, I just could not stop.
My desire overcame my fears and I was so inspired that I filled my mind with hope and acceptance.
My advice to my reader is to fill her mind, her unknown, with hope and acceptance.
The unknown is just that, unknown.
So, how can you be sure that it will contain hate and rejection?
It could just as easily be that your writing will help others and be met with acceptance!
In the same way, how do you know that, by improving your style and investing in yourself, your transformation will be met with rejection rather than acceptance?
So, fill your mind with hope and acceptance and you will be able to move forward.
Get excited about your transformation.
Increase your level of desire for that change until you can no longer bear not to change.
Fill your unknown with positive, not negative things.
My passion is to help women improve their style, improve their life.
I want women to be happy.
want women to wake up in the morning and feel like the sun is shining, even though it may be pouring with rain.
I want women to love themselves when they look in the mirror and say 'Yes, I am beautiful and I am so happy with myself.'
This is my passion!
Filling my mind with these thoughts feeds my passion and keeps me going through the tough times.
This is why negative comments and fears that my books and courses will not appeal to everybody will not stop me from carrying out my work, because this is my passion. If I can help even one woman, then it will have been oh so worth it!
My reader's fears are why I wanted to reach out to you today and ask you if you have any fears about your style and improving yourself, or even fears about any other topic, not just style.
You may be worried and wondering:
What if I improve my style, what if I look good, will my friends feel left behind and shun me?
What if I start to wear stylish office wear, smart suits; what will my colleagues think about me?
You know, change is difficult for many people. But if you are ready for this change for yourself, don’t let other people’s fear of change stop you from making those changes, from transforming yourself into the person you want to become.
You have to live with and accept your fears but don't let them stop you from writing that book, upgrading your style, investing in yourself, achieving your goals or becoming the person you want to be.
PS: To help you with any fears you have, I will be hosting a FREE live workshop tomorrow Monday 7th November at 9 AM (Mexico City time zone/CST) in my French Chic facebook group.
Please join the group if you haven't alreay done so.
However, I shall send you the recorded version in our newsletter. Please subscribe if you haven't already.
If you have fears about your style or improving yourself in some way, this short workshop is for you.
Be prepared to do some work, as it will be a workshop, not a lecture.
So, are you prepared for change in your life?
Are you ready to face your fears?
Then I will see you in the workshop tomorrow!
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